Adapted from a post I made on a Facebook thread.

five by five hundred

Hi, Facebook “friends” –

Listen, I appreciate that you had a good time hanging out with me. But before you share our good time with the rest of Facebook, I have to let you know about my Rules For Tagging.

I’m really not very photogenic. I am not putting myself down here. I think I’m getting foxier the older I get. But I don’t photograph well. The pictures on my profile? VERY CAREFULLY SELECTED. So before you tag me, here are The Rules:

1) Chin. There should only be one. If there is more than one, DO NOT TAG ME.
2) Neck. There should be no sign of a wattle. If there is, DO NOT TAG ME.
3) Blemishes. If it’s a zit day (and yes, I am here to tell you that a woman in her forties still gets ’em), any and all zits must be removed via a…

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